Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Lose your Mind and Come to your Senses....

So, just a quick overview of that this is.  Last night in my art therapy class we were asked to do a Gestalt exercise.  Gestalt therapy in a were awareness of the body is highly important, and that everyone has the potential for growth and healing.  I like a lot about this therapy in general, but I really liked the art therapy part.  We were given the instructions to think about a relationship in our lives that we were struggling with.  It could be with multiple people or just one.  Then we were asked to draw an abstract representation of that relationship in four different time frames.  We are not allowed to use any recognizable images.  We could use circles and squares but no hearts or flowers, that kind of thing.  We were asked to show that relationship as it was, is now, wished is was, and then what we think that it probably will be.  We were given 20 minutes to do all four and then we talked about them with a partner without ever saying what the relationship.  The point is to talk about the images, what they say, how they make us feel.  Here are mine and the reflection that I gained from this experience.

Wish
Was                                                                    Probably will Be
Is
The bright colors on the left side my partner coined Brighty, the earth tones on the right Earthy, the blue line a vein, and the pink that appears as Pinky.  The type of reflection she made are first, and then I wrote my own reflection about the relationship on the bottom.  I just wanted people to see the power of just dealing with the images and how dead on my partner was about what I was feeling in each image.  She doesn't know me, or my past, so she was just concerned with what the images seemed to say.  It was a conversation with me literally about my images, but really about what that meant for my relationship.  This process allows people to feel safe, they are not talking about themselves, but their art work.  I was amazed at some of the things she picked up on that I had not even been thinking about.

The reflections from me are in italics.  Think of it as a response to my partner.  I never used names, or details, but I was still able to talk about the relationship.
 'Was'
Just looking at Was it could be seen as one entity, but at times it is separate, two entities.  There is a struggle over which one is in the foreground, and which one is the background.  Earthy is solid, weighty while Brighty is freer, lighter and more open.  The bright colors are happy, excited feeling, while Earthy is more calm.

I choose the earth tones because they are more stable, they blend naturally, less volatile.  The colors are stable, the earth.  The brighter colors have more emotion, change without prediction.  And I love spirals.  (Even if I used pronouns, my partner still used her terms!)  At times the two are one, have things in common, then they are separate too, but it is balanced.  The separate part is not bigger than the blended part.   ( I just told her about the personalities of the two blobs without ever talking about the people!)
'Probably Will Be'
This one has balance, a calmness.  The pink is now a part of earthy, but Brighty is no longer reaching.  The vein is still there, but isn't hooked into either, it just is.  There is a light connection between the two, almost like they are just passing by.  And then there is a earthy patch attached, like Earth left it's mark, but Bright is no longer wanting a connection.

Yeah, I know that at some point this is what we will be.  I will have moved on, and I will be happy, but it is my past and will always be present, but not permeating like before in IS.  I actually put the earth color on the be a new entity, but I have already used all my colors.  But now that you say that I know that is true.  that I will always carry his mark.  And that maybe I will find someone like him.  That is a scary thought!
'Is'
Is makes me feel depressed.  The vein is still hooked in one and is reaching to Earthy, while Earthy's is not even connected.  Brighty feels more anxious, there is more uncontrolled lines, few solid parts, very chaotic.  And the vein lightly runs over the whole mass.  And suddenly there is a new color.  Pink.  Is that a new entity?  Yes.  And it is stuck to Earthy, higher than Brighty.  I feel Bright's pain, the longing.  It wants to still be connected, but is not.  But it is not a depressed longing, it is anxious what with the chaotic lines.

That is right.  I feel like I could have placed pinky between him and the vein.  But I don't know if that is true, so I put her with him.  I let the blue go over the bright blob because it is always there, it covers everything up, the lack of connection.
'Wish'
I find it interesting that even in the wish they aren't touching.  Just the blue line connects them.  The size of the two are more equal in size and placement.  There is a balance.  And then there is that darn pink spot!  I feel like I could just rip it off and it would still be fine.

I don't really like pink.  I am fine with her being there, I just really want some type of connection.  I hate feeling that it is one sided, that I am forgotten.  I am not connected to him anymore now.  And for a very long time we were.  I don't want what was, I just still want a tie.

So I learned a lot about my views of this relationship with this, and it made me feel better.  I could talk about me without ever really talking about me.  And she picked up on so much, just by asking me questions about colors, line quality, and placement.  SO cool.  I love my major.

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