Eyes to the future

So my first semester in grad school is coming to an end, and I am glad. One down, 6 more to go. I am ready for my life to begin, the life that I am here hoping to get. I am a little tired of waiting. I am tired of feeling like nothing is real, I can only see the light at the end of tunnel. But that light gives me focus, keeps me here, keeps me on track.

My roommate moved in Friday. It is good to have someone else in this huge house, but it makes me miss Aly. When Gina was moving in all I could think about was what it was like to move in with Aly. Her waking me up by jumping on my bed, her door always being open, sitting on the couch with her. I am missing her a lot right now. She is the person that represents the life that I should be having. I miss coming home to someone who really loves and cares for me. I miss watching nerd TV with her, going to Wal-Mart at 2am for grocery shopping. I miss my life in Asheville. I miss Asheville and everything that it means.

I am happy here though. I swear. But it does feel like a prison sentence, an obstacle to overcome. But it will be worth it, I would not be here otherwise. I know that I am getting what I need here to help people, to give back something. I am just tired of waiting to get to 30, when I will be in a career that I love, in a place that is home. I lived my entire life working to get there, to the stability, to being balanced and happy. I know that I need to stop living in the future and live in the now. But I am doing this to get to the future, not the now.

I will get there one day though. And that keeps me going in the cold north.